RA: Ruffless Anonymous
by METMA Mandy
Summary: "Ronald's" dress robe is a little *miffed* at the way it has been treated. First Ron, then the "Evil-One", then Malfoy...well, I'll say no more! R/R and join METMA!


A/N: Hooray! I *finally* wrote this, it's been sitting in the back of my head for a while... Thanks to Firelizard for the idea, and Me Myself and I for inspiration. *shouts to MM&I* You happy yet?  
***  
  
The color purple means royalty. It always has, even hundreds of years ago. Kings drenched themselves in purple, while common folk wished on a star that one day they could posses the lovely, the magnificent, the PURPLE.  
  
Which is why you'd think, then, that a somewhat poor, redheaded, teenage boy without a speck of royal blood in him would be HONORED, would be beside himself with happiness, to have beautiful maroon dress robes!   
  
Not that I particularly wanted to be owned by the brat, anyway. Upon seeing me for the first time, he fainted dead away, leaving the door OPEN. Now, have I mentioned yet what terrible beast LIVED in this house? Once belonging to a king, I had seen dragons, wild chimaeras, and even the occasional basilisk. But that was no preparation for what I soon saw running down the stairs. The most vile, evil being ever to walk the earth. Fredandgeorge.  
  
I had hoped, of course, that my *master* would protect me from the foul beast, who radiated danger (and, come to mention it, really bad B.O.) But did little Ronald care one whit about me? No, he just shoved me back into a box and threw me under the bed. You'd think, too, that I'd be safe from the monster under the bed. You'd think that, wouldn't you, but you'd be completely, one hundred percent wrong. It seemed the "Evil-One," as I came to call it, could detect fear. I was shot exactly seven times in the bottom with firecrackers, and Ronald just LAUGHED. Why, in my day, that sort of crime was punishable by the rack!  
  
When we finally left the home of the Evil-One, I thought my days of maltreatment were over. Certainly the Evil-One couldn't follow us all the way to a school! No, as soon as I was placed safely on the train, I felt sure my terrible days were over. How wrong I was...  
  
First, I was rudely pulled out of my trunk and plastered over a very dirty owl's cage. Goodness! If King Arthur could have seen me then, he'd certainly have had something to say -- I was completely covered with bird seeds. Oh, but the fun doesn't stop there! It seemed I was in for a two-for-one deal -- two humiliations on the same train. For what walked into the copmartment, seeing me in all my *glory*, then a boy that could rival the Evil-One for malice.   
  
The first thing he did, upon seeing me, dress robes that once belonged to King Arthur, was sneer. HE, with his nose stuck half way to the moon, dared to sneer at me, sneer at my beautiful, hand stiched lace, my lovely purple color! And then he even dared to laugh! Well, it took quite a bit of self-control not to slap that boy in the face. He might've finally lowered his nose if it was bleeding, don't you think?  
  
But the mistreatment wasn't to stop there. Ohhhh, no. When the Yule Ball rolled around, I was actually looking forward to being worn and admired. Instead, I was roughly chopped to pieces, completely ruined. Never, in all my life, have I ever seen such a terrible wizard. He couldn't even pull off a simple severing charm! And now I look so awful, I fear to show my face again. All is ruined! Ruined!  
  
...I wonder if the Evil-One would mind me paying him a visit?  
***  
  
A/N: Hee.... Poor little dress robes. Fredandgeorge are pretty evil...Annnnyway, if you want to help poor magical objects such as the regal dress robes, join METMA (Muggles for Equal Treatment of Magical Articles)! For only 2 sickles, you can join this organization *sniff* DEDICATED to buying the freedom of these neglected objects. Tee-hee. Just e-mail me at Leven5@aol.com to be sent a badge, challenges, and all kinds of good stuff! Make sure to include your penname!   
  
A/N2: Please review, or I will sic the Evil-One on you!  (Filibuster Fireworks do hurt, you know!)  



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